Day 7: All I ask is a fair chance for girls.

I love this country and am proud to be of Indian heritage but days like today bring me back from cloud nine. 

We as women have come a long way in India, from Jhasi ki Rani, to Indira Gandhi as our third Prime Minister, to Marshaben, a female is one of the tops marksmen in Gujarat in rifle, Anandiben is the present Chief Minister of Gujarat,  some of the top hires from google, yahoo, Facebook etc are brilliant young women from IIT in India this year, but these few examples are the rare examples. We still have a long way to go. 

The day was off to a great start from shadowing Binal Didi in the morning since she teaches English to the older kids; I wanted to see how it is taught here and thought I could be more helpful in those classes than history or Hindi etc. Since today was class picture day I got to spend one class with the 9th Standard kids where I would converse with them in English by asking them questions and them having to respond, and then a few follow up questions depending on their answers (while their teacher was helping with pictures). I later helped kids come up with a proposal (for an activity they wanted to do), to take to Dr. Padhiyar (which they later ecstatically told me got approved!). I also got to go horse riding with the kids today which they do right infront of the school on the open grounds; two horses are brought on campus for the kids to ride. And then I helped Ridhi Didi and Sofia Didi with the dance preparations for the 28th. Immediately after that, I had my class, today with 7th-C and 8th-C; aside from the little things kids do in any class, it was a good class, we discussed mostly attitude, confidence, and the difference between education and literacy. 

However, the highlight of my day was going to be taking all the girls down to the huge open football medan (soccer field, remember soccer is called football here) across the school, to teach them how to play football and maybe play some cricket. 

I had gotten permission to have the girls play for two days, but yesterday the girls had gotten pulled into different things like going to the gausala, computer lab, dance practice etc...which is fine, because school first and extra fun second. The girls were sad yesterday that they couldn't come learn, they all want to learn football from me, but I explained that academics comes first and that I would not allow them or come talk to teachers so they could get out of class. 

So, as you can tell, I was pretty excited today, because I was assured that nearly every girl would be able to make it and I spoke with the proper people to make sure the equipment would be out there and the field would be ours. And to say I was excited was like saying I was the coach of a World Cup match, and the girls were as excited as if they had waited all these years to play in that match today, they were 10x more excited than me and I was pretty darn excited.

When we got there, the older boys were playing on the field so I went and tried to kick them off explaining that we had the field today and that we needed the soccer ball too. They refused and complained that they never get to play. These boys are the same boys I played with and have also heard they have played at least two other days after that on their own. Here I was asking for one day, one day for the girls. I wasn't asking them to give it up for a week or a month or forever but just the 1.5 hours of activity time that day. They only gave in when the PE teacher came and told them it was mine, which also resulted in arguing and complaining. 

Fine, I got the field cleared for the girls which was already supposed to be ours but now I had about 145 girls and one soccer ball. Previously we has discussed and agreed about getting plenty of soccer balls and cricket bats and balls for the girls to play with and here we were with just one, which I had to argue for. While I asked multiple times after getting to the field for them to get out more gear they wouldn't; but the guys complaining on the side who wanted a ball to play with, brought out another soccer ball with permission. At this point I was not a happy camper, one, it was the girls day, two, I have been discussing and asking for gear for the girls to play with not just then but for two days and it wasn't there today, and on the field when I asked nicely I got no response. So I ended up splitting the girls up in half and setting up racing for them and about 60 kids playing soccer, that's with one ball of course. Which is absolutely ridiculous. 

So when the second ball came out, I insisted the girls get the second ball too, after all it was their day and it was definitely needed to have even just one more ball. 

However with the boys on the side complaining, the teacher argued that we should give the boys one. I disagreed but it didn't really matter. So halfway through I decided that instead of having 90% just standing around because of the lack of equipment to allow them to play Coh (and Indian game like we would play red rover). For the those who want to play football could continue but this way the other girls can play and have fun, instead of just being there and not being able to really participate. When they started, the girls were kicked off by the teacher because we were playing Coh on the football field and the guys had moved to the other extra space in the back, because "we were just wasting the football field when the boys were on the side". Again I disagreed, we had no equipment or balls to play so we reverted to this. The girls were disappointed as well they weren't able to play soccer and settled for Coh, had we had the equipment promised, we would have been playing soccer. But it wasn't given and my point of the day was to get the girls out there and just moving, with the intentions of through soccer, but since that didn't pan out, I didn't want them to not enjoy the time and not be active. 

Today was a day for the girls. 

Girls in India don't have the same luxuries as their counterparts from the beginning of time. Boys can get an education, girls can't, boys earn the money, girls stay at home, boys can become doctors, engineers, and so on, girls should probably stay home, boys can play sports, girls can't. Girls have been raised with a mindset of you can't do this, you can't do that, and it's only for boys. Yes, I understand our culture and our beliefs and in some things the separation or different roles of both are still present, but I am not asking for a total end to that. I am asking for a fair chance for the girls to learn, to experience, have the opportunity to realize that my world doesn't start and end with the word "can't", but I can do things and I can do them well. 

Everyday the boys are out playing cricket, football, and volleyball and each day I see the girls using their activity hour either in the hostel, lab, doing homework, on the playground or at most a handful playing badminton. I wanted to help get the girls moving more and also see that they can learn and play sports too. I was hoping that through my example and teachings, that they gain a little confidence in themselves, in the fact that they can do things too, and that sports isn't only for boys. I am not here to change our culture or beliefs, I am here to encourage these girls, to empower them, and to show them that girls can be whatever they wish to become and they can do things like play sports. 

Today I was disappointed not that I wasn't able to play with the girls but that I wasn't able to bring them a step closer to learning that. I was disappointed that the girls were so excited and eager to learn that I wasn't really able to let them play. 

Sometimes being in India seems like time-traveling, where you are from the future and you are in the past. I understand that some of the things I do here are a taboo and I'm breaking a few barriers, like playing soccer with the boys but I respectfully kept my distance and made sure not to bump into them or things like that, I converse with the male teachers about school, and I once in a while sit with the boys at lunch to get to know them and their stories, but I try not to cross the line with anything. Within our culture girls are secondary. We are considered Laxmi Matajis (an Indian goddess) and worship her, and call India our motherland, yet we don't see our actual girls and women in the same light. 

Yes, I hope I am able to change just a little of how our girls are able to develop here, not just as a student but as an athlete, an artist, a dancer, as a person. These are our daughters, our sisters, our cousins, our mothers and if we don't teach them and show them there is more for you then just school then are we doing our job? Before it used to be just the kids and the kitchen, for some it has become school, but why can't we teach them more, why can't we build their confidence, why can't we allow them a fair chance to learn not only in the classroom but also on the field? The thing is, we can. It should be our responsibility, those who know better, those who can, to not standby this. Yes, it is a slow and fragile process here, but if we want to as a school to keep going in the right direction, forward, why can't we allow our girls to move in the same direction with us and lift them up to the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead. But how can we move ahead when those who are supposed to lift them speak in disgust that the girls are coming towards the field giggling. No, they might not know how to play. No, they might not be good once they try the very first time. But yes, we should give them the fair chance to try and play. Yes, we should teach them how to, especially when they are this eager to learn. And yes, no matter what,we should help instill in them the confidence that will spill into all aspects of their lives and that as girls, yes they can do it too. 

The girls on their own went to Dr. Padhiyar after and talked and requested more time and explained what happened; tomorrow from 5-6 pm the ground is supposed to be ours. I'll let you know how it goes.

- Aekta


*Edit/Addition: While I have stated my distain for how things were handled, the unfairness towards the girls that day, and the necessity of change in mindset as whole for our entire community I would not like anyone to take away from this a negative impression. These are my opinions and my feelings and thoughts about the day and about our society as a whole; further more an urge to open the eyes of people and show them that change and progression is still fiercely needed for our women and girls.

SVVS, while falling short that day, provides the girls (along with the boys) opportunities to learn and experience karate, rifle-shooting, horseback riding, computers, swimming, hiking, debate, arts, dance, and so much more. There is also a girls sports area in the making, which hopefully will be put to good use by the girls (I believe with my whole heart that it will). My point is, girls have the capability and right to learn and grow not just in the classroom or in their societal duties, but on the sports fields and where ever else they desire to. Lastly, not only should they be able to, it was made clear that these girls had the desire to learn sports and try. We should make sure (and we now are) actively that we are allowing them the same opportunities consistently.